Thursday, July 27, 2006

it rains a lot in Seattle

so, i was perusing the headlines over at CNN.com today and i found this gem of journalistic prowess: "Seattle stunned by 'bizarre' killings"

"Law enforcement officials said they couldn't recall a similar string of multiple homicides in the Seattle area."

they're kidding right? Ted Bundy...the Green River Killer...Seattle practically spawns serial killers. all that rain and such. we northwesterners are crazy bastards. tevas and shorts in December? i rest my case.

if you google "Seattle serial killers", this is the first page that pops up. and it scrolls.

it was precisely because i lived in Seattle (circa 1998-2000) that i developed some wicked fascination with the subject; i once checked out a stack of books at the Federal Way library which included such titles as Hunting Humans, The A-Z Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, Helter Skelter: the True Story of the Manson Murders, and the requisite A Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy, the Shocking Inside Story. the librarian gave me a look i have never seen on another human being's face since.

i've probably been flagged by the FBI.

if people didn't kill people regularly in Seattle and the greater northwest region, Ann Rule would have nothing to write about.

4 comments:

that guy said...

believe it or not, it's not the rain that makes me kill hookers. it's the hipsters. i will never have as sweet of a haircut as the white-belt, girl's-jeans-wearing musicians who are so so so much cooler than me, and it awakens this primal, oedipal urge to go out and pick up crack whores to murder.

weird, huh? and everyone says it's the rain.

melaina said...

we're like milli vanilli, i know. we're assholes.

riese said...

i think it's because of nirvana and pearl jam, because they sang sad songs? And sad songs say so much?

But really: thank you for admitting your obsession, because there is nothing that intrigues me more than a good A+E documentary on some serial killer or another. Also the 'Paradise Lost' documentary is one of my faves.

I like to imagine it interests me because what serial killers do is take a trait common amongst those of us with some depressive/machoistic/sadistic/anxiety-ridden/insecure personalities--e.g. a codependent relationship, a drug addiction, feeling left out, reckless nymphomania, pent-up anger--and take it to the total extreme. You know?

melaina said...

i like to think of them as having huge balls, small penises, and absolutely no self control or grasp on reality.

kind of like Tom Cruise.