i'd like to start a religion. that's where the money is.

so, there's a really interesting article in Rolling Stone this month on Scientology.

"The history of Scientology
asserts that 75 million years ago, an evil galactic warlord named Xenu controlled seventy-six planets in this corner of the galaxy, each of which was severely overpopulated. To solve this problem, Xenu rounded up 13.5 trillion beings and then flew them to Earth, where they were dumped into volcanoes around the globe and vaporized with bombs. This scattered their radioactive souls, or thetans, until they were caught in electronic traps set up around the atmosphere and "implanted" with a number of false ideas -- including the concepts of God, Christ and organized religion."

hehe. false ideas...the concept of organized religion...oh the irony.

did you know L Ron used to write old sci-fi pulp fiction back in the day? come on now, i know you're shocked.

(i couldn't make this shit up if i tried. it's just so wonderful.)

not the mama

my father is 60 today. i've known him a while and, well, i still like him. ;)

I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There will never be a daughter loved her father as much as I love you

prevarications

i'd thought we were on the same page
but you read between the lines, you'll see
it's just fiction
it's nothing real

there's no difference between
what you do
and what you feel

Scientists say that the brain chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness

so, this is actually the first Valentine's Day since i was 20 that i have not been with anybody. which is actually quite odd.

my mom pointed me toward this National Geographic article on love (unfortunately, the entire article is not online). i sat down in the self-help aisle at Barnes and Noble yesterday to read it in its entirety. (as an aside here, only in a Barnes and Noble in New York is it difficult to find carpet space to sit and read an article. good god!)

so, if you're single and alone this Valentine's Day, it really only means one thing: that you're not crazy.

(or, for the mopey and depressed single: Fuckvday.com)

the weather is here...

...wish you were beautiful.

stupiderer

John Stossel's 20/20 on education in America. Belgium anyone?

Track fishing and seat hogging are both forbidden

so, a number of ads for the Bahamas have been yanked from the NYC subway system. my first thought was, oh thank god. they finally realized that these ads make 7.5 million subway commuters want to slit their wrists (being that it is the most gawd-awful time of year here). every fucking day, G to the 7 to the 6 uptown, these fucking plucky colorful banners remind me exactly where i'm not: on a tropical island (an island, yes, but the most populated and suck ass concrete jungle of an island).

thanks. way to ruin my day.

but apparently, according to the article, the ads were pulled, not because they were depressing New Yorkers, but because they "advertised" illegal behavior on the train.

now, to my knowledge, they recently banned beverages from subway cars.

there go the Dewars, Budweiser and Courvoisier ads. damn. (a clever co-marketing campaign i'm sure, with those Bahamas people. because you know my first thought after being depressed by one of the Bahamas ads is damn i need a drink)

mini-mice! immortality!

This crazy bearded Brit thinks we could live to 1000.

shiny.

how big is your flux capacitor?

Brokeback to the Future. in case you haven't seen it (courtesy of my mom. ;-)

truthiness

James Frey needs a new agent.

i'll state here, for the record (yes, this does seem to be, increasingly, my new catch phrase): who the fuck cares [that he embellished his memoir]? i'm sure many parts of the Bible were 'embellished', yet millions of people live their life by it. of course, those people are crazy...where was Oprah then? "Jesus didn't actually say that? God really didn't create man? I have to say, it is difficult for me to talk to you because I feel really duped."

unrelated, i saw Imagine Me & You. my life would be so much easier if i could just fall in love with a beautiful [gay]woman. well, ok. that may not be true.