In an attempt to instill some semblance of routine and actual, oh I don’t know, effort in my life, I have decided to begin a weekly “themed” piece concerning things that I have learned each week. Why? Because it’s a proven fact (the proof of which I shall subsequently google in an attempt to back up. I’m nothing if not credible) that people love lists. Of things. Grocery lists, for example; I bet you’ve never seen a grocery paragraph. A grocery haiku? I think not.
Donald Trump isn’t gay. And has really bad taste. We knew this.
George Eads in my hero. Yet somehow, he inspired very few adjectives when I was writing his bio earlier this week.
Broken Halo gets me drunk.
That shape in the foreground of Hans Holbein’s The Ambassadors is a distorted skull. And I totally have a crush on my 16th century English drama professor.
Eighth graders are now apparently required to take molecular biology (and posting death threats against Bush on your Myspace profile is a bad idea).
Babies are the new Glock (side note: the Glock E-Tool is not, as it might sound, a web browser).
NyQuil’s website has a sleep aptitude test, which I flunked, even though I drink NyQuil every night in order to fall asleep (I’m the reason they card for it in Oregon). Ironic, no? “You are a "walking zombie" and unproductive.” Yup. That’s me.
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